As dreams go, it was simple. I wanted to write a Top Ten list. I mean, I do it every year. I’m sure a lot of you do too. Every critic does it. Every film fan does it. Every angry-young-psychotic-who-will-actually-punch-you-if-you-don’t-agree-that-Quentin-is-modern-day-Shakespeare does it.

But here’s the thing. Everyone does one and they are all the same. OK – not entirely the same. Maybe you didn’t get the hoopla surrounding 1917, or maybe Parasite left you cold. But for the most part, they are all the same. Irishman, Marriage Story, Uncut Gems. That thing by the aforementioned Quentin. They were all good movies. Legit choices. Am I really doing the Curnblog-reading public a service by reiterating those titles?

I thought not. (And it’s not that I don’t like a good reiteration.) So I scanned a bunch of top ten lists from the heavy hitters of film criticism. And I wrote down every movie that made one of their lists. You won’t be seeing Pain & Glory here (in part because I found it to be a largely self-indulgent bore, but you can hammer me on that in the comments section). Nor will you find Peanut Butter Falcon, which may well have made the cut had not Wilson Morales included it on his list.

So I deleted those 50-60 critically-honored movies, and then set out to compile a list of movies that I really liked from 2019 that weren’t on anyone else’s list. Then my friend Jack told me that Shazam!, which I had prominently featured, was on plenty of top ten lists this year. So I took it off – and stopped talking to Jack for a while.

But that gets at one salient fact. I did not read every top ten list for 2019. I’m sure you can find somebody who had all of these movies on a list somewhere. It’s just a tool. One that hopefully calls attention to some good movies that aren’t named The Parasitic Irishman’s Uncut Marriage … in Hollywood.

I skipped documentaries. That could be – and probably will be – a separate article all together. And I divided it into English language and non-English language sections. There’s a reason for that. You’ll probably ascertain it as you read. I may even explain it at the end. Not sure about that yet.

Ah, and my top ten list has seventeen movies. Again, criticize my questionable math skills in the Comments section.

ENGLISH LANGUAGE MOVIES

American Woman (Jake Scott)

So the titular character is played by a half Brit, but Sienna Miller was born in New York, so I don’t think we can accuse her of stealing a job from an American actress. Jake Scott (also a Brit, but Ridley’s son, so it’s all good) weaves a melodrama that could have easily gone over the top about a party girl who faces an existential crisis when her teenage daughter goes missing. He keeps the more potentially histrionic elements of his story in check thanks largely to excellent character work from Miller, Christina Hendricks (as her sister) and Amy Madigan (as her mother). The end result is a fine portrait of the pressures facing an independent woman trying to overcome bad luck and social stigma.

The Art of Self Defense (Riley Stearns)

If being a sexual creature is part of the curse thrust upon American women in Jake Scott’s movie, being timid is the counterpoint when it comes to American men in Stearns wicked takedown of toxic masculinity. I am a big Jesse Eisenberg fan, but even if you are not, you will agree this is a role he was born to play. Casey Davies is the victim of a violent crime. He seeks to regain his sense of security and self-respect by signing up for a martial arts class taught by the Sensei (Alessandro Nivola, in a role that is equal parts comic and terrifying.) A very disquieting dark comedy has great resonance in its portrait of men trying, and failing, to define their role in a shifting society.

Cold Pursuit (Hans Petter Moland)

Taken was a guilty pleasure. Each subsequent version became dumber and dumber. For those of you who are too ashamed to admit that you like seeing Liam Neeson take out a lot of bad guys, Moland made a smart, quirky, and very engagingly understated version. It is a remake of his original In Order of Disappearance with the Swedish Liam Neeson – Stellan Skarsgaard – and unlike so many American remakes, this one loses none of its violent charm. Features a great bad guy turn from Tom Bateman, and even shows how the ascendant Laura Dern will take time away from Oscar-bait projects like Little Women and Marriage Story to do some quality genre work.

Dragged Across Concrete (S. Craig Zahler)

The best violent indie of the year, this twisty caper noir features the standard array of morally ambiguous cops, crooks, and innocent bystanders. But it does it with a world-weary sense of dark humor that doesn’t diminish the cold cruelty of the world it portrays. Mel Gibson and Vince Vaughn are both at the top of their form as the cops who figure at the center of everything, and there is excellent support from a wide range of character actors. Cold Pursuit is more of a fun ride. This, as the name suggests, is a rougher journey, but no less gripping.

Good Boys (Gene Stupnitsky)

Sue me. I picked Superbad as one of the 25 best movies of 2000s. This is Superbad, five years earlier. Jacob Tremblay holds the movie together. Pals Keith L. Williams and Brady Noon get outstanding comic moments to themselves. It’s raunchy. It’s hilarious. It’s heart-warming. It’s everything Superbad was. Only younger.

The Nightingale (Jennifer Kent)

Aisling Franciosi gives one of the best performances of the year as Claire, a poor Irish woman serving a criminal sentence by working as a servant for a British army officer in Australia in the early 19^th century. The conditions are wretched. The men she encounters are vile. Her iron will and beautiful singing voice (hence the title) sustain her for a while until events conspire to lead to a violent climax. Brutal and riveting, this further establishes Jennifer Kent (The Babadook) as one of the best young directors out there, regardless of gender.

Ready or Not (Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillet)

A couple of years ago, Christopher Landon made a pretty good high camp comic horror called Happy Death Day. Then he followed it up with a mostly crappy sequel, Happy Death Day 2U. Hopefully, the creators of Ready or Not will learn from this, because this comic horror is better than Happy Death Day and I would hate to sully its memory with Ready or Not Redux. Samara Weaving is this year’s Matilda Lutz (from Revenge) as the beautiful kick-ass woman who doesn’t let a little blood stop her from laying waste to a group of truly awful, entitled scumbags.

Rosie (Paddy Breathnach)

A young Irish family loses their home after their landlord decides to sell. Though the dad is employed, they are left stranded in a sea of bureaucracy, and complex housing rules which offer more frustration than help. Along with Oleg (keep reading), this is a potent vision of life for a great many would-be middle-class families living on the edge. It is highly reminiscent of the Dardennes’ Two Days and One Night, and boasts a standout performance by Sarah Greene as a mother desperately trying to hold her family together.

Sword of Trust (Lynn Shelton)

Shelton’s best movie to date. Two women have inherited a sword that some fanatics believe provides proof that the Confederacy won the Civil War. When they attempt to sell it in an antique store, it sets off a line of absurd humor that absolutely sparkles. It helps to have a talented cast including Marc Maron, Jillian Bell, Michaela Williams, Jon Bass, Toby Huss, and Dan Bakkedahl – all experts at underplaying the more outrageous elements of the plot.

Villains (Dan Berk and Robert Olsen)

A four person darkly comic, suspense story. Two young thieves of questionable intelligence but possessing good hearts, run across a fine morally upright couple (who are, we quickly learn, completely whacko) in a secluded home. The recipe for one of the most entertaining movies of the year. If you liked Knives Out, this is a stripped down version. Bill Skarsgaard is one of the best young actors we’ve got.

NON-ENGLISH LANGUAGE MOVIES

(And can we all applaud Bong Joon-ho’s line about overcoming our fear of subtitles when accepting the Golden Globe this year?)

The Awakening of the Ants (Antonella Sudasassi)

Viewed as a companion piece to Marc Turtletaub’s Puzzle, Sudasassi’s beautiful poignant drama reveals a fundamental difference between mainstream American film and much of the international product that makes its way to the States. Turtletaub needed a more premise-oriented plot, built around a puzzle-solving competition to tell his story of a repressed wife and mother struggling for independence. Sudasassi does not use this kind of narrative overlay. Her heroine, Vanessa (Adriana Alverez) does not want to have any more children, a concept her husband Alcides (Leynar Gomez) cannot comprehend. Out of this all-too-common set-up, Sudasassi weaves a tale of great compassion and personal drama. She demonstrates a mastery approaching Asghar Farhadi, the best purveyor of such realistic family-oriented drama we have today.

The Chambermaid (Lila Aviles)

The shortlist for the Foreign Language Oscar got a lot of things right. But this was their biggest omission. A greatly stripped down, minimalist drama, Aviles’s understated story offers more drama and humor than most big budget films. It follows Eve, a poor young woman from the provinces who spends her days working in a luxury Mexico City hotel, catering to its wealthy guests, all so that she may provide a better life for her unseen child. Set almost entirely in the hotel, and shot on a shoestring, Aviles’ camera is so sharp that the tiniest of moments carry great weight. Gabriela Cartol shines as the quiet Eve, who has more dimensions than we might expect, and Teresa Sanchez would be getting Oscar buzz as a supporting actress for her turn as Eve’s effervescent friend Minitoy – if only this were a mainstream American movie.

Corpus Christi (Jan Komasa)

Equal parts violent and inspirational, Komasa recalls last year’s First Reformed, only with a less tortured overlay. A young convict is released into a work program, but instead of showing up for the job, he stumbles into a gig as a replacement priest in a small village. Komasa handles awkward humor and potent threads of emotional cruelty and judgment in a tale that is both modern and timeless. Bartosz Bielenia is a star in the making.

Oleg (Juris Kursietis)

Even if Oleg were not a good movie, it would stand as a powerful portrait of the increasing number of the world’s population who are living on the edge of catastrophe. Oleg is a good hard-working young butcher, who travels from his home in Riga to Belgium to pursue better job opportunities. A mistake completely out of his control plunges him into a hellish journey through the world of the underground, illegal worker. And Kursietis has made a very assured movie, with strong performances from Valentin Novopolskij as the earnest Oleg and Dawid Ogrodnik as the charmingly dangerous Andrzej, and a very astute climax which provides resolution while denying traditional catharsis, thus reinforcing the hopelessness of so many in Oleg’s position.

The Painted Bird (Vaclav Marhoul)

The Painted Bird is the most emotionally riveting movie I saw in 2019. It may well be the most emotionally riveting movie I saw in the past decade. Taken from Jerzy Kosinski’s Holocaust novel, it is long and brutal, and certainly not for everyone. It comes off as a cross between Bresson’s Áu Hasard Balthazar and Klimov’s Come and See, and if you can stomach those two movies, then you may be prepared for The Painted Bird. Child actor Petr Kotlar gives one of the year’s best performances in the role of the Joska, an orphaned boy who roams the harsh landscape attempting to survive in a time of mass insanity. I could not take my eyes off the screen.

Tigers are not Afraid (Issa Lopez)

Another tale of traumatized children, this time left on their own due to the drug wars that have devasted their city, Lopez weaves a story of drama, survival and fantasy, very reminiscent of Pan’s Labyrinth. Strong performances from Paola Lara as a resilient girl, and Juan Ramon Lopez as the alpha boy who grudgingly accepts her into his little band merry men orphans keep the story from becoming to fantastical or precious. And the moments of fantasy and terror are all handled with aplomb.

Woman at War (Benedikt Erlingsson)

Halla is an earth mother. And like most mothers, she is fiercely protective. Blending observational humor with end-days catastrophe as only an Icelander can do (OK, maybe an Estonian could pull it off too), Erlingsson tells a story that might be ripped out of today’s headlines while keeping it very personal. Halldora Geirharosdottir is a great modern hero, a fifty-year old single woman who is adopting a child from the Ukraine and sabotaging the local aluminum factory, all while maintaining her job as choir director. Not surprisingly, Jodie Foster is planning an English language remake.

There you go. A little something for everyone. You may have noticed that the foreign language titles are heavier on the drama and serious subject matter while the English language movies are lighter and more genre-centric. And the reason, if you kept reading this far, is simple. Those serious-subject, English language movies are the ones already filling up those ten best lists – you know, the movies I excluded. In fact, the heaviest of the English language movies here, The Nightingale and Rosie, are not American movies. On the flip side, in order for a foreign language title to get picked up for American release, it usually has to be more of a serious prestige picture. Though some Indian romances and Asian martial arts films (I’m talking you, Gully Boy and Master Z/IP) make it to America, you rarely see pop culture titles from other countries playing on American screens. I am not saying it’s good or bad – thems just the cards we’re dealt.